Intimacy, I found out, meant different things to different people. Just like love, the definition of intimacy has been reduced to the narrowness and shallowness of what common minds can perceive or grasp.
Sad, when you really think about it. A lot of people yearn for deep connection and honesty but when we do meet some, we recoil – – – back to our shell or behind our wall and fortress where we feel “safe.” Are we? Safe?
When you read this, please try and remember that the soul behind the writing most probably does not belong in this time and age – – – maybe not even in this world – – – hence, pardon if the views expressed are a bit old school or, to some, outlandish.
What is intimacy to you? Are you one of those people who mistakenly think that intimacy is all about sex? Do you believe intimacy only happens between lovers? Between couples? Between people in love regardless of their gender?
Then you are absolutely wrong…
That, or, on the other hand, poor old pixie is simply from a different planet where Tinder and fast-dating (thriving businesses capitalizing on human emotions and brilliant products of capitalism, I have to say) are unheard of.
But, seriously now…
Here is what I believe (oh, of course, you may not agree with what I believe in – – – that is perfectly alright – – – yet, since this is a free world then I can express what is on my mind without imposing it on you, isn’t it so?)…
Intimacy is about vulnerability, openness and sharing – – – it is a two-way avenue and not a one-sided affair. It means letting another human see the soul behind the facade including its ugliness, flaws and brokenness. It means shedding our mask and exposing our weaknesses to an other who may hurt us real bad. It means handing over our heart, figuratively, with the blind faith that, that soul will honor and take very good care of it. Intimacy, simply put, is vulnerability – big time.
(Scary? Damnnnnn, yes! That is why real intimacy is, probably, one in thousands kind of thing.)
Intimacy is not limited to romantic or physical ones and therefore does not necessarily involve sex. It is shared between or among friends to whom we can open our heart and soul without judgment – – – to whom we are accepted as we are – – – to whom we can be ourselves. We call our shit, shit, without reserve but, at the same time, will weather the storm together.
(When we find people like that, we should hold them dear and close to our heart. They are the gems of whom no amount of money in all this world could buy.)
And then, there are those random intimacy which we may experience every once in a while. A deep conversation, an exchange of smile or glance shared with a stranger that leave lasting impression in our heart – – – an impression that may move us to change certain direction or aspect or things in our life.
See, intimacy is simply touch – – – and that touch is not necessarily physical. Touch. Exchange of energy. Soul connection. Pureness. Honesty.
It is, as Osho puts it, a disappearing tradition like friendship. Just like the bees, humans are putting it into extinction.